When I was coming of age in the early 1960′s the Beach Boys had a song, “In My Room” which I listened to over and over again (much to the chagrin of my parents, I am sure). It was the first time I can recall consciously thinking about my environment and what it meant to me. A teenager desperately needs a place to “be” – where they can figure out who they are and muse about any number of important things (such as pondering the merits of a lip gloss, world peace, or that night’s activities).
Later on, I found that when living with husbands and children, I lost my identity related specifically to my space. I made so many accommodations that my personal style went out the window. Home became mainly utilitarian.
In working with families, I often see this dynamic in action. Life is so busy, there is little time for reflection on the home as a personal haven – a place of refuge where you go to recharge your batteries, to relax, think and BE.
I believe that every family member should have some personal space that speaks to their soul . . . whether it is their room, an office, or an outdoor space that they can claim as their private refuge. This space should have tangible meaningful personal icons to ground, inspire, reassure, nurture. The icons are unlimited and individual to each person.
We all need a cozy spot . . .